the hidden lovely truth

To a Long Loved Love: 7

Because you're not what I would have you be
I blind myself to who, in truth, you are.
Seeking mirage where desert blooms, I mar
Your you. Aaah, I would like to see
Past all delusion to reality:
Then I would see God's image in your face,
His hand in yours, and in your eyes his grace.
Because I'm not what I would have me be,
I idolize Two who are not any place,
Not you, not me, and so we never touch.
Reality would burn. I do not like it much.
And yet in you, in me, I find a trace
Of love which struggles to break through.
The hidden lovely truth of me, of you.

-Madeleine L'Engle, The Weather of the Heart

To see myself from inside is all flaws and tangles
and my fear is that the good,
the lovely, is just veneer
for the broken.

If you find me
in this place,
will you love me
will you bring yourself
will God grant us light to see by