Thursday, May 16, 2013

Joy

This morning as I lay on the examination table, just as I had a fistful of clear goop smeared on my belly, I realized I didn't have my cellphone.

"Wait a second," I said, "is it okay if I record this for my husband?"

The nurse-midwife smiled and got my purse for me, and I hit "record" as I listened to my baby's heartbeat for the first time.

What a beautiful hello, this first tangible contact with my baby's existence, his life.

As little as a week before getting a positive test I would have told you I'd be more than happy to get pregnant again at any time, and that was true. So I felt guilty and a little confused when my first emotional reaction to finding out was so ... mixed. Weirdly, I found myself wishing that it had come just one month later. I can't give you a good reason why. Just hormones, I guess.

But walking out of the midwife center into the sunny morning, my heart was shining and I couldn't stop smiling, and I felt so, so grateful for this new little life, for our growing family.

Keith took Michael with him to adoration this morning and was on the bus when I sent the sound file of the heartbeat. He texted me back to say Michael smiled when he heard it.

When I met them at the Oratory I was struck by how much of a baby Michael still is, even though he turned 13 months yesterday, even though he is not a "little baby" as I still so often call him. I know that by the time his sibling arrives he won't be a baby anymore. He'll be a toddler. So while this pregnancy is flying by of its own accord, I wouldn't rush it, or him, or his sibling, not for anything.

How beautiful God's timing is. How much He has given us.


10 comments:

  1. congratulations :) Wonderful news!

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  2. Congratulations!!! So happy for you guys!!

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    1. Thank you! I still think it's funny/cool that we are due at the same time in relation to each other as last time! :D

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  3. Congrats! I was wondering when you'd share, after all those posts about the "blahs" and then your comment on Dwija's blog... ;) When are you due?

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    1. Haha, it's funny how many people saw that comment! I knew someone probably would, but I didn't realize how many people read them. :)

      I'm due November 29th. :)

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  4. Wait wait wait, what?! I thought the beginning of this was a throw-back and then a sentimental reminder. But a second one?! Congratulations! Are you going to find out the gender or leave it as a surprise?

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    1. You bet!! I'm not one for suspense, haha. :) I just want to know who this little person IS and find out as much as I can about them as soon as possible! I think I will probably find out every time. :)

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  5. Congratulations Rosemary! I'm due November 8th...we'll both have November babies!

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