Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Four.

There was something a little crazy last Wednesday when we were ten days out from the wedding. The last day of double-digits--what?? And ten, while being a nice round number, is also so small, considering the countdown started at over 200.

Even crazier is that tomorrow it will be three days until I'm married. Three. I can't quite fathom it.

Today I finished seaming the flowers for the tables; my wedding shawl is blocking as I type this; tomorrow I will put together favors.

I talked to my cousin yesterday and she remarked on how I didn't sound very stressed. In general, I'm not--not from moment to moment, although I get stressed very easily when stuff happens, like trying to figure out who's driving what car from church to the reception hall as the bridal party rides in the limo.

There are two things I keep repeating to myself as we pull the last details together.

1. I cannot control everything. Or everyone.

On a conscious level, this is perfectly reasonable to me. But somehow I keep finding myself trying to control things, and getting immensely stressed because there's no way I ever can. Especially when it comes to people.

2. I cannot make everyone happy.

This is kind of related to #1, but it needs to stand on its own because I need to remind myself of it often. So many people are asking for things, either outright or in a more subtle way, without realizing how much extra stress it causes. I can either scramble around and try to make everyone happy, or get angry at them, or ... let it go. I can't carry those things around with me.

All that matters, all that will matter at all come Saturday afternoon, is that I am getting married. To Keith.

Pax.

4 comments:

  1. You are definitely focusing on the right goal! You are also a wise woman to realize you cannot make everyone happy. I wish you the "bestest" wedding day ever :)

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  2. "I get stressed very easily when stuff happens, like trying to figure out who's driving what car from church to the reception hall as the bridal party rides in the limo."

    You sound just like me... I think the worst part of my wedding weekend was when I would get stressed (I put the wrong reception address on the invites, the reception hall ceiling was leaking when we went to set up, the guys wouldn't stop goofing around long enough to hear what they should be doing, the cake was wrong) and people would tell me "Just breathe. Stop worrying. Smile." And I would think, "I KNOW thats what I should do. But I can't smile, the ceiling is LEAKING." Just don't be like me--stay patient with everyone, even when they're telling you to "just smile!" for the hundredth time. And like you said, just focus on the part where you're getting married to Keith and nothing else will matter.

    And, your shawl is beautiful! I'm so sad to be missing your wedding, but excited to see pictures, it is going to be so beautiful! I'll be praying for you both while at Annie's wedding :-)

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  3. You sound well-balanced. :) the pressure on brides to carry off an "event" that's perfectly color-coordinated, with seamlessly flowing logistics, perfectly planned down to the mini mouthwashes in the bathrooms is just ridiculous. (Don't tell me you forgot the mini mouthwashes!) One can waste her whole engagement obsessing over such details. I think just about every wife will say she wishes she hadn't stressed so much about the wedding. Maybe we make the wedding day a symbol for how perfect we want our marriages to be. It's about you and Keith being married and family and friends want to celebrate that above all. But you know that. :)

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  4. And soon, that big WEDDING label on your sidebar will shrink smaller and smaller, and some completely new labels will loom large on Rosemary's Fancy!

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