Fifteen Months with Twins

I keep meaning to do a "day in the life" post, but I always forget to keep track of things until close to the babies' first nap. Maybe that's a good thing for those who read this blog. ;) There would be a lot of repetition. Pick books off the floor and put them back on the shelf. Pick up puzzle pieces and put them back in the puzzles (or just throw them on the shelf ...). Pick up plastic bowls and plates and put them back in the kitchen drawer. Pick up the newspapers we use for starting fires after chasing the babies away from the fireplace. Pick up a baby from the bathroom he knows shouldn't be in, set him down outside, pick up the second baby and set him outside, go back and pick up the first who has crawled back in the meantime, repeat. Etc. ;)

Michael now calls our closet "Gregory's room." He's not that far from the truth.

We've been sick the past couple days but seem to be over the worst of it. Gregory is still pretty phlegmy; he had the croup, but it seems to have passed by the others, who only had colds. He is such a sweet boy. Sitting in doctor's office, smiling and chatting with people in a raspy-frog voice, his gentle disposition undisturbed by his illness. Beautiful baby.

A few weeks ago at Mass, as he was looking around the cry room after nursing, I asked him, "What do you see?" And he turned to look at the huge crucifix and with a big grin on his face said, "Jesus!" He was so excited to kiss and touch the crucifix. (But he also has an incredibly impish side--which is totally emphasized by that hair that sticks up all over the place, even after its first cut.)

Dominic is feeling better, and it is so good to have my cheerful baby back. This guy is a man of extremes. It's either all happiness and toothy smiles, or sheer anger, throwing himself on the floor and throwing things in distress. His life is a drama he enters into with his entire body. He "reads" books to himself with gestures, facial expressions, intonation that would put any orator to shame. He's all about movement--climbing over anything and anyone in his way, sudden dashes across the floor, throwing balls and driving cars. And yet, unlike Gregory, he can settle in for a good cuddle without wiggling all over the place, just curled up against you soaking you in. It's all on or off with this kid; no in between.


And then, the two of them together. If one of them is awake for more than ten minutes without the other, he starts getting grumpy and restless, until I ask if he wants to go wake up his brother. Then the eyes will light up and the head will crane forward as we tread up the stairs, eager for his twin.

I hope I can capture the way they go up the stairs together on camera--how Dominic will start up, stop and look back at Gregory with a grin, "Well? Are you coming?" And then up they speed one behind the other, looking at each other and bursting into laughter, all full of mischief.


This didn't start out as a "mommy blog" type post, but there you go--fuzzy pictures and all. :)


PS Happy Mardi Gras!

Six Months and Change

The twins had their six month appointment yesterday. Gregory has been slowly catching up to Dominic in size. First he was two pounds lighter; then one; and now he weighs six ounces more! What a chunk. (He is 14 lb 11 oz; Dominic is 14 lb 5 oz.) In fact, Gregory is in the 4th percentile. I believe that's the highest any of my children have ever gotten!

I've been thinking (stressing) about sleep a lot these days, specifically daytime sleep. Then at some point I realized that while yes, naps are pretty bad still ... nighttime has gotten a lot better from a month ago. So I thought that it would be a good idea to do a sort of "update" here once a month so that, on days I want to run away screaming down the road, I can look back and see that things are slowly but surely getting better.

So ... sleep. Sorry if I've already blogged about anything below ... feel free to skip. I won't be offended. ;)

Dominic: Goes to bed at 7:30. For a while he was sleeping until 4-5 am in his crib. Now he seems to be developing an 11 pm wake up; after that he will go from 2-6 am. He wakes up at the crack of dawn and Keith gets up with him. I did some "nap training" with him three weeks ago and it worked great. But then, just as I breathed a sigh of relief, he decided 20 minute naps were all he needed. Sigh. So, he will go down for 30-45 minutes twice in the morning/afternoon; I let him cry or fuss for ten minutes after he wakes up and sometimes he will fall back asleep again, usually in the late afternoon. It's all very hit or miss right now.

I predict that he'll be one of those teens who stays up all night then falls asleep wherever.

Gregory: he now goes to sleep in our bed BY HIMSELF hallelujah! Either I nurse him to sleep or Keith puts him down; he gets his stuffed dog to keep him company. Occasionally he wakes up once or twice and Keith coaxes him back down. I think we're going to try him in the crib at night soon. Naptime ... sometimes he sleeps in the swing or his bouncy chair for as long as half an hour ...? But that's it. And he is the sleepiest, whiniest, saddest baby because of it. We have a prescription for baby Zantac now; once he's on it I am going to start instituting naptime.


I haven't decided yet whether I'm going to stick both the boys in their cribs for naps or try to train them separately so that Gregory doesn't bother Dominic, who is more likely to sleep. Any thoughts from mothers of multiples on this would be great. :)

Brothers

First I want to thank Rosie, who very sweetly included a link to my blog in her latest post about twin blogs. Some of the other blogs on there are ones I already follow and love, and others I am excited to check out!

Rosie also wanted to see side-by-side pictures of the twins to guess whether they were identical or fraternal--a request which I am quite happy to oblige. After all these guys are pretty darn cute. ;) I think for those who spend a lot of time with them the difference is pretty clear, but from pictures and seeing them only occasionally it may be less so. We are pretty convinced they're fraternal though.

Dominic L, Gregory R

Differences you can't see in this picture--Dominic is bigger, although Gregory has the longer torso; Dominic has reddish hair (just a little bit!) and Gregory's is dark and thick in the back; Dominic's eyes are blue as blue while Gregory's seem to be staying a pretty grey color; and Gregory only has one line on his palms, a trait he inherited from me. (Michael has it too.) Their complexions are also pretty different: Dominic has Keith's (fair), Gregory has mine (a fair olive).

Dominic, I believe, looks the most like Keith of all our children. He looks more like Keith's baby pictures than Michael did.  (I would show you but I think Keith would not be pleased to find his baby pictures on the internet. ;) )

But Gregory looks like my mom's side of the family. Specifically, my mom's mom's side. More specifically, my mom and I both think he looks like my great uncle Jim (who was only a few years older than my mom). 

Uncle Jim as a child

Their personalities are quite distinct. Gregory is the quiet one, but quick to smile, quick to coo, and overall quite the charmer. He is very easy-going (although he is reaching the age where they develop opinions ... I guess that happens around 3 months, doesn't it?). Dominic has a louder personality. He wants to be at the center of any action. If you sit him up in your lap so you can see the world he's generally happy. If he's not happy, he will let you know.

They are both becoming more aware of Michael, and Michael is deciding that sometimes he likes having brothers to be his audience.

Sometimes.

Imperfect

Well, Keith's scarf has crept along another few inches, and I am reading a new book. Sand, Smoke, Current is Wiseblood Books' first publication of the year, and I am much enjoying it. Robert Vander Lugt is able to draw the shapes of the stories in ordinary people's lives in a way that is beautiful and meaningful, and that is something I always admire in an author. These stories are quiet but earnest. My favorites so far are the title story and "Love, Double-barreled."

A while back when I shared progress on Keith's scarf I mentioned hiding a mistake I'd made in the cabling that I hid outside the camera frame. That very Sunday I dressed Gregory for Mass in a sweater that Keith's grandma had knit him when he was a baby. My mother-in-law gave us some of Keith's baby clothes when Michael was little(r) but because he was born in the spring it was usually the wrong season for him to wear them when they fit. But now the twins can wear them, and it makes me happy (although Keith finds it kind of embarrassing, I think!). It's so special for them to wear something their great-grandma made.

All pictures of the boys stolen from my Dad's facebook. :)

Anyway. While Gregory was wearing it, I found a mistake in the cabling. Far from being an imperfection, I found that so neat, evidence that this came from the hands of a real person and was made with love. Anyone might have knit a sweater, but Keith's grandma made that mistake. That missed cable is such a direct connection to her as an individual knitter. 

And it made me look at my own knitting differently.

So I won't be pointing out my mistakes to you ... but I won't hide them either. :) Kind of sounds like a life lesson, huh?

(Oh, and that day, Michael was wearing a sweater knit by his grandma.)

(And Dominic wasn't wearing any sweaters, but he was wearing some pretty spiffy overalls and a collared onesie. :) )

Linking up with Ginny and her yarn-alongers.

Two and a half months in

Everyone is in bed except me. This solitude thing .... what is this?! I feel like I need to write something to memorialize this moment. (Also I sat down at the computer to shut it down and ended up on the internet ...)


Today the twins are 2.5 months old. Their personalities are truly blossoming. They coo (in very distinct ways), they smile, and I swear Dominic laughed in his sleep just this evening.


Things seem to have settled into a rhythm--a hit-or-miss rhythm, to be sure, but it's there. In the morning Keith gets up and gets Michael started on breakfast while I nurse however many babies are awake and change their diapers. Once everyone is fed and Keith leaves, the morning is often fairly calm. I read Michael books, usually with one baby or another on my lap. Or he plays with his markers and I respond to his demands of "Draw arrow!" with a baby on the other arm. I am at my best-rested to tackle and hairy moments that arise.

And then on the heels of the easiest time of day comes the hardest. Michael gets hungry. I get hungry. (Um, I get hungry a lot. Breastfeeding twins takes a lot of calories!) The babies get hungry and/or gassy. The timing of all this is impossible to manage. I get Michael set up with lunch and sit and eat with him, and/or nurse a baby.

If the fates are smiling then Michael is ready for his nap right after I've nursed both babies and they're dozy; if not, well, someone will be in tears at some point. (Lately Michael has been unhappy about taking a nap.) Once he's down, I might have a time where both babies are awake and interactive, and perhaps as long as half an hour when they're both asleep. In which case I can clean or *cough* watch Lark Rise to Candleford on Youtube. Or I may have to alternate holding babies all of naptime.

And then Michael wakes up and the countdown to Papa's return begins. ;)


I know it's just perspective that makes me think one baby is "easy," but I'm hoping I can carry some of that perspective into our next child's infancy, if God so blesses us! I don't mean that just in a stressed out way (although I often think it in times of stress!). For example, I can't tell you how often I've felt a pang of sadness because I have to put one baby down to tend to the other, even though they are staring up at me and smiling and ready to interact, or to cuddle up and sleep in my arms. I know with Michael I often found myself just wanting to put the baby down; and while now it can be frustrating that I almost always have to be holding a baby, it's also taught me that being able to hold your baby for an unbroken stretch of time is truly a gift. Time to yourself is important but at the same time I can get so caught up in the lack of it that it becomes a source of stress. I am learning (or trying to learn) how to lean into the day moment by moment rather than fighting against it.

Also? I've learned that I can do an awful lot while breastfeeding an infant. (Like drawing arrows with markers.) Praise God. :)

The Twins' Birth Story

I'll try my best, but it's going to be a long one. Just so you're warned. (Also, it's a birth story, and thus pretty frank about various bodily fluids at times ... so if you're squeamish, be aware!) No photos because we have a few but I look awful in them and I'd prefer to keep them to myself. ;)

For the last few weeks of my pregnancy I kept wishing that I would just go into labor already. Every woman who's been pregnant has been there, but with twins it starts much earlier and is MUCH worse, and the fact that twins have a tendency to arrive early intensifies it. As does having contractions every day without "being in labor." So one night on my second or third trip to the bathroom I found myself thinking, yet again, I just want to go into labor TONIGHT.

Immediately another thought entered my mind: would I be in such a hurry to go into labor if I knew I or one of the babies might die in childbirth? It actually stopped me dead in my tracks. It was cold and clear like someone outside of me had suggested it. (And maybe that's true.) I tried not to lend it much credence, but in my hormonal state it really disturbed me ... and then the next day was either Sunday or All Saints Day, and all the readings were about death and resurrection. Even as I struggled to dismiss this I kept wondering if God was trying to tell me something. It was bad enough that I confessed my fears to Keith in the car one day, almost in tears, and we prayed together about it.

Gradually that fear receded, and by the time I approached the date of my induction I was no longer anxious. I was blessed with a wonderful OB. He's very up-front, was supportive of my ability to birth the twins vaginally, and always, always treats his patients like people. That being said, he had a way of jinxing things for me. So when I was hooked up to Pitocin at 7am on November 15th (38 weeks to the day), I should've known labor was going to take all day just because he expected it to go by in a matter of hours.

It probably should have gone quickly. I was already having contractions--as I had been for the past two weeks--and he assured me two hours later when he broke my bag of waters that things would progress quickly. I continued to dilate and efface at a steady rate, but that rate was not exactly "quick."

Still, I have to say that this labor was pretty great. I wanted as med-free a birth as possible, but I'd heard so many horror stories about induced contractions I figured it wasn't possible. But actually, this labor was much easier and less painful than my first! After my water was broken I snuck some food from DH when the nurses weren't looking, because I was starving and I really didn't feel that bad. The nurses kept asking me about my pain scale, whether things were getting more painful, but it just wasn't that bad. During the first half I spent quite a bit of time dozing.

In fact, the worst part of labor was when my OB examined me and realized that A's head had slid forward and blocked the tear in his amniotic sac, so he broke my water AGAIN, sticking his fingers inside and moving them around Dominic's head to make sure most of it got out this time. Oh. My. Gosh. It probably only took about a minute but it was horrible and it felt like forever. (And so, so much fluid. When I think about the sheer amount of STUFF that fit in my womb by the end of this pregnancy, it really boggles my mind.)

Everyone who took care of me commented on how well labor was going and how well I was dealing with the contractions, how the babies were behaving and easy to monitor, etc. (Although Gregory went through a phase where he kept slipping away from the EFM disk and they had to bring in an ultrasound machine to find him.) My OB stayed a few hours past the end of his shift hoping to deliver the babies, but in the end he left about an hour and a half before they were born.

By that time the contractions had gotten pretty intense. I could tell it would be time to push within the next hour, and was debating whether or not to get an epidural. (I already had the line in place.) Since it was a low dose, I caved and let them hook me up. There was a button I could push twice an hour to up the dose, and since the first dose barely did anything for the pain I soon found myself pushing it again. Even at the highest dose I could still feel my contractions and knew I'd be able to work with my body. SO much better than just getting a big dose all at once like I did with Michael!

Less than half an hour later I was ready to push. I pushed for 30-45 minutes in the L&D room. Then I had to stop pushing while they wheeled me into the OR to deliver. That was hard. But once they got set up, a few more pushes and Dominic was born.

Dominic--I saw him briefly as he emerged from my body, I heard him cry. I sent Keith from my side to go with him. He was strong and healthy. I kept trying to see him from across the room.

I shouldn't have. I should have focused on Gregory, and I knew I needed to focus on Gregory, but how can you not try to see your baby? I'm not sure if I would've known more about what was happening if I paid closer attention in those first few moments.

There was a second OB manning the ultrasound machine as they tried to make sure that Gregory was still head down. I became aware that he had gotten into a bad position, that his hand was in the way and the OB was trying to move it; then I heard that his shoulder was engaged (transverse oblique presentation), and at that point I was no longer dilated enough for her to continue to manipulate him into a better position.

The OB looked at me and said, "I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to deliver this baby by c-section. I know it’s not what you wanted, but we need to do it." I knew from her voice that something was up, but I was so disoriented and unfocused up til that point I didn’t know any more than the fact he was trying to come out shoulder first.

They sent Keith out of the room to prep me and told me they’d let him back in once I was ready. I am so, so grateful I already had a full dose of epidural, because they had some trouble getting things to where I was anesthetized enough for surgery, and it turned out that every minute counted. As I was given the line of pricks up my belly several times, the doctors grew more and more anxious, and when I was ready they put the sheet up and cut me open right away. No Keith. I remember one of the doctors answering her pager and telling the person on the line that she was in the middle of an emergency c-section and it would have to wait.

I had no idea what was wrong, only that my baby's life was in danger. The nurses and people around me kept reassuring me--I was doing great, I was going to be okay. And it made me so angry, because of course I was fine, but when I asked about my baby they wouldn't answer me. I asked several people to baptize him if he was going to die--granted, an awkward thing to ask a nurse or anesthesiologist. More than being on my own, it was the biggest reason I wished Keith was in the room at that moment. No one answered me or even acknowledged the fact that my baby might die.

And I remembered all my fears from several weeks before. I knew that a few friends were praying for me right then; the twins' godmother-to-be had two Masses offered for us that day; I prayed to St. Gregory, St. Therese, St. Gerard, our guardian angels. I was not panicked, probably more from the shock of it than anything, but I was so, so very helpless, laying there with my arms strapped out beside me. And I prayed, God, I give you this baby. Please, please let him live.

It was the longest 14 minutes of my life. Gregory didn’t cry when he was born. They let Keith in and he came and sat next to me, but we couldn't see either of our babies, and had no idea how Gregory was doing. In a bit they wheeled him up so we could see him before bringing him down to the NICU because of his oxygen levels, except I couldn't see him from where I lay on the gurney. Later on, we had both cord prolapse and a nuchal cord given to us as reasons for the emergency. After talking to the OB we’re pretty sure it was the latter. Either way, there was a short period of time when he wasn’t receiving oxygen, but he was able to breath on his own when he was born and only needed to spend about ten hours in the NICU.

At that point I was shaking uncontrollably. I always shake during transition when it's time to push, but this was extreme. My shoulders hurt from it for a long time afterwards. I also had a high fever that they never really found the cause for. (And then there were the night shift nurses who didn't believe me when I felt like my bladder was about to explode and pulled out more than THREE times the amount a normal person's bladder is supposed to be able to hold when they got around to catheterizing me an hour later. Worst pain of my life. But that was 24 hours after this. It also wasn't the most TMI part of my complicated recovery ... but I'll stop there.) Eventually I was given medication to stop the shaking, but it was a good two hours before I was even able to hold Dominic--two hours that I was just not with it--and at least two hours later that I got to meet Gregory.

When the OB stopped by my room she was very emotional. She told me she'd gone over the birth in her mind wondering if there was anything she could have done differently, and she didn’t think there was. I was so touched by her honesty and how much it mattered to her; all I said to her was “Thank you for saving our baby.”

Because I am so grateful. When I remember Michael's birth--how he came out crying and they put him on my chest, and when I spoke to him he stopped and just looked at me--even Dominic's birth makes me ache a bit. It's a loss I am still processing. But I have two beautiful, healthy boys ... and for them, it was all worth it.

Seven Quick Takes (16)--Babies and Blessings

1. I have a list written out of 100 things I would like to do in 2014. (So far you haven't been subjected to it. ;) ) Two of the things were to get our house blessed, and to invite a priest over for dinner. So when a priest we know offered to do an Epiphany blessing for us we excitedly said yes and settled on a time "after dinner." I intended to invite him over for dinner, but between life being crazy and me being procrastinatory (that is definitely a word) it didn't happen. I had a pot roast but didn't make it and figured that we'd dive into our freezer stash for a meal. 

And then ... Keith called me five times in a row and I finally called him back and we realized that Father was coming over for dinner. So I had an hour and a half, an uncooked, 3 lb pot roast, and ... nothing else in the house except eggs ... and cheese ... and milk ... which thankfully I realized could make a quiche. Phew! I'm really glad he ate with us, but I'm hoping we can invite him back again for a nicer meal. 

Michael also decided that Father was such a good friend he would tell him every time his diaper was poopy. Which was at least twice. 

Definitely not identical!

2. Dominic and Gregory are two months old! They've officially outgrown their newborn clothes (it took Gregory a bit longer than Dominic) although we won't know how much they weigh until their appointment next week. As for personality, they couldn't be more different. I want to get around to typing up their birth story soon. The other day I was holding Dominic and getting teary-eyed thinking about his birth ... but I realized I want to type Michael's first. Not because I'm OCD about birth order or anything, but because I'm realizing that how I feel about the twins' birth and how I'm processing it relates strongly to my experience with Michael. (And indeed, writing the birth stories is another thing on my 2014 list.)

3. Yesterday I fed/nursed all the boys, got everyone dressed, put on a pair of earrings and french braided my hair, got everyone into the car and went shopping. We were back before noon, everyone all in one piece. The only hitch was that Dominic decided life was awful the minute we started driving, and was only soothed by me dancing around the aisles of Walmart while wearing him. (Gregory was in his carseat in the cart.) It was empowering but exhausting. I basically spent the rest of the day watching period dramas and nursing babies.

4. One thing that made yesterday possible was getting up a bit earlier than usual, which happened because Keith was up. Generally the babies dictate our schedule. But I know I need to be more disciplined. Eventually I want to have a morning routine where I get up at a certain time, hopefully have some of the morning to myself to shower etc, and make breakfast for Michael to eat while I nurse the babies. This may not happen until the twins have a more regular schedule, but hopefully that isn't too far in the future.

5. My friend Stephanie stopped by with her boys (ages 3.5, 2.5, and 4 months). The house was very full of boyhood--a sort of glimpse of my future in a year or two. There was screaming and running and laughter and tears and pizza and clementines. I have to laugh because who would have known four years ago that we'd soon have six boys between the two of us?? Life is so crazy. My babies are small and Stephanie's are huge; her not-yet-four-year-old can see and reach anything on my counters, whereas my almost-two-year-old is still wearing some 12 month size shirts!

6.  However. Stephanie has the easier babies. I'm not sure what it is about my closest friends (my cousin's babies are like this too), but they all seem to have babies that are content to lie or sit on the floor and watch what's going on and grin at you. Whereas my babies ... ha! You hold my babies for an hour and then when you try to put them down they start crying out of sheer indignance. (Well, Gregory is a bit easier than that. But not Dominic.)

7. It's snowing. That makes me happy. The weather out the window is no longer fooling me into feeling like it's spring, and the days are brighter with a little white on the ground. I wish I could take Michael out to play in it ... but right now Papa has to be the fun parent in that regard.

picture by Keith

Linking up with Jen at Conversion Diary!

Slowly

I have some Christmas knitting, but ... I haven't been able to pick it up since Friday. I'm afraid someone is going to be getting a package with needles in it under the tree! The yarn is from Brooklyn Tweed, which I've been wanting to try out for a long time. It is a very wooly yarn, perfect for winter knitting; I can feel the lanolin as I work with it, which is something that I'm not used to.

Because it's Christmas knitting and I never know who may read this ... I will just give you a peek at the yarn. Upper right corner. :)

My reading has also slowed down a bit. I started The Moviegoer by Walker Percy but ... I don't like it as much as I'd hoped. I refuse to abandon it because I feel like it's something I should read. (Although really, it takes a lot for me to abandon a book.) I feel like Percy writes fiction as an illustration of his ideas more than anything else; I've read some of his nonfiction and his characters just go around monologueing or thinking or conversing about the same things he writes about. I think if I was reading him in a class or other setting where someone knew more about him than me I would appreciate his novels more, but as it is ... eh.

But still. Walker Percy!



Say a prayer for us today as we are taking one of the twins to Children's to see if he needs surgery. It is nothing dangerous and (most likely) not an emergency, but still ... This is out of the blue for us, as of yesterday's one month check-up. Otherwise both boys are doing well, gaining weight as they should and so on.

Aaaaaand .... I have a lot to do before leaving. (Getting dressed and feeding Michael before his nap ... but seriously, that's an impressive to-do list when you have two babies in the house!)

Grumpy Dominic is grumpy.

Stripe by Stripe

Happy to be linking up again with Ginny's yarn along! 

I have not been blogging much, but I have been knitting a little. Not every day, but some days. Stripe by stripe. This is the perfect pattern for me right now. Lots of garter stitch, nothing too complicated to keep track of. Just stripes in pretty colors.

As for reading, that I have been doing a LOT of, thanks to breastfeeding and my Kindle Touch. (I still maintain, as a hardcore bibliophile, that the Kindle is one of the best inventions for breastfeeding mothers ever.) I've read at least four books in the past two weeks and am working on the fifth--Delia's Shadow, by Jaime Lee Moyer. So far I am enjoying it immensely.

Jaime was published in a (now defunct) webzine that I once volunteered with. Her poetry was always very beautiful to me, and her poem "Rosemary" holds a special place in my heart--not just because of the name, but I do have it in my email signature for that reason. ;) (And in looking up that poem, I remembered that it was published alongside my first-ever-published short story in an anthology. Oh man. I love that story, but I wrote it in college. If for any reason you happen to read it please don't judge me by it! And Jaime's poem is MUCH better than that story.) Anyways, I've admired Moyer as a writer from a long time back, and so I've been eagerly anticipating this novel. So far it doesn't disappoint.

Anyway ... how about some baby blanket action shots? :)

Dominic with Smooth Sailing

Gregory with Hamako

 Unfortunately I wet-blocked Gregory's blanket and it lost a lot of the texture it had before, which makes me sad. :( It is bigger than before, which is convenient, and it's still pretty; but, sigh.

Seven Quick Takes (14)

1. So the twins' birth story is half-written, and I've had this thing about not posting anything until it's finished and up on the blog. And then I decided that was silly because ... well, let's be realistic. Who knows when that novella will get finished. (And I've tried writing it in a more succinct fashion, but ... it just doesn't work that way with me. Never has, never will.) Not that I would have been hammering out anything special in the meantime, but the feeling of not being able to post until this is finished was stressing me out. So I am posting.

2. Happy Feast of St. Nicholas! I'm afraid there were no shoes left out last night, so the good old saint had no place to leave us treats. (Although he might have left some M&Ms for this mama in a drawer in the kitchen somewhere ...) Although we have no Nicholases in the family, we have an icon from Keith's grandmother, who was (for a time at least) Russian Orthodox, so I feel like he has (or should have) a special place in our family's devotions. There's always next year, I guess. In the meantime ...

3. On a similar note. I have the advent wreath on the table. But it has no wreath--just the brass ring, unadorned. More to the point, it has no candles. I half-heartedly looked for them in the boxes of Christmas stuff, but decided to order fresh ones a few days before Advent started, and ... they just shipped yesterday. So maybe we'll have our candles by Gaudete Sunday ...?

4. Nor have I set up the Nativity. Partly this is because there's not much of a place to put it. Our mantle is piled with homeless books and a few random other things, including a fire extinguisher. We're just not with it in terms of Advent this year. But I guess I get a pass.

5. Speaking of Advent, decorating, preparation, and etc, Kate wrote a really great post about such things a few days ago. I think it's wonderful that people are writing about focusing on Advent as Advent and saving Christmas for Christmas, and I really like Kate's take on it.

6. The twins are getting baptized this Sunday, on the feast of the Immaculate Conception. When Michael was baptized, he wore a gown that had been passed down from my Grandmom and worn by all her children. Luckily, Grandmom's first pregnancy was twins--so there are two of them. None of the boys will be left out, and they both get to be worn again. How cool is that?

7. I have run out of takes. So ... go see some more over at Conversion Diary!

Home

Dominic Xavier

Gregory Atticus

The boys were born at 8:07 pm and 8:21 pm on November 15th, weighing 5lb6oz and 5lb3oz respectively. I hope to type up their birth story next week; my induced labor went very well, Dominic's birth went wonderfully, and the 14 minutes between his and Gregory's were among the most frightening of my life.

Recovery has been a bit rough, and so has readjusting from being a family of three to a family of five. But we are all home, we are all together, and we are all well.

God is good.

Superstitions

Knitting is a good way to keep me occupied during this time; it helps me feel as though I am preparing, rather than just waiting. (And unlike many other things I could do to prepare, with knitting I don't have to stay on my feet. That means a lot these days! Although I'm sure it doesn't help the pregnancy related carpal tunnel ... I can't even brush my teeth when I wake up in the morning.)

So, the two Milos now have two matching hats. And I still have a bit of each yarn left. Socks, maybe? And then ... I don't know. To be honest I'm hoping I don't have time to knit anything else, or even the socks, although I'm sure I could knit two pairs of baby socks today if I wasn't focused on cleaning ALL the laundry.

Here's the thing. Up until the Milos, I've had this belief (or hope) that the babies wouldn't come until I was finished. And I still kind of believe that, if I start something, I have to finish it before they're born, especially since I want them to be evenly endowed with handknits from Mama. (So if one gets a pair of socks, the other has to, too!)

BUT there's always Murphy's law ... just as I start a new pair of projects, surely I will go into labor and not be able to finish.

I kind of prefer the latter superstition at this point. Yesterday my OB told me not to bother making an appointment for next week because he felt that the babies were going to come soon. I think he jinxed me. I thought they were coming, too; in fact I thought I would finish that blue hat while in labor. But since he said that, everything my body was doing to prepare has ground to a halt.

So you see, I am torn. Do I start a bigger project for the twins--a set of Puerperiums, or maybe small stuffed animals--and hope that the Knitting Fates say "Nope, not happening!" Or does starting such a project mean I am doomed to finish it before the babies can arrive?

Because clearly Knitting is a powerful thing like that.

What do YOU think I should do? (And what should I knit after the socks??)

Still waiting

Well, hi! Our computer wasn't working all day yesterday, which meant I had no access to the internet. I didn't get online once in more than 24 hours. What's funny is after Keith fixed the computer and I got back online a few people had asked if I'd had the babies! :) We also missed our regular Mass this Sunday because we slept in, and I kept wondering if people would think I was in labor because we weren't there. These babies will be considered full term on Friday, which is crazy. But--they are still inside. :) I'm glad the computer was fixed today, because I think if I missed the yarn along of all things, that would truly be a sign of their arrival!

After a brief break to zip through The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning (highly recommend it!), I am still chugging along with Anna Karenina. A friend stopped by today with my order of Usborne books, so I am reading those too, because they're awesome. :)

As for knitting, I am working on a little blue Milo for one of the twins. The newborn size knits up very quickly and I imagine I will finish it tomorrow. I've already knit another in brown.

See the owls??

I think I would've rather knit Puerperiums, but the amount of finishing (ie buttons) put me off. With Milo I just have two ends to weave in and its done. And I do love this pattern.

Speaking of finished, one of the things on my to-do-before-babies checklist was to knit a sweater for Michael. And I did it! He hates having it pulled over his head, but otherwise he loves it. Every time he saw me working on it, I told him I was making a sweater for Michael. So he loved to come up and play with the ball of yarn or touch the sweater and say "Knitting! Michael!"

Of course, now he seems to think that everything Mama knits is for Michael. And he wouldn't stand still for me to get a good picture, but I guess one can only expect so much of an 18-month-old! The sweater is a bit big, but that is good, as it will fit him still next year.

Head over to Ginny's to see what other people are knitting and reading.

Hanging by the yarn along ...

I write all sorts of posts in my head these days, but when it comes to having the mental energy to sit down at the computer and type them ... nope. Just not there. I have fallen miserably behind on my written correspondence for the same reason. 

Yesterday I spent most of the day at the hospital. I had one of my bi-weekly non-stress tests, and Baby A's heart rate decelerated a few times while they were listening, so I was sent downstairs to get an ultrasound and make sure his fluid levels were okay. Everything turned out to be fine, but ... it was a long day. 

I've been knitting the sleeves on Michael's Abate using the magic loop, since I don't have dpns in the right size. And that is probably the reason it's not finished yet. I hate the magic loop. One more sleeve, and then the collar, and then the finishing. And then ... babies??? Hehe. We'll see--I'm no longer confident in my ability to crank out two vests before they're born, even if they're tiny vests! (Right now I am leaning towards Milos instead of Puerperiums simply because Milo doesn't have any buttons.)

Still reading Anna Karenina. Last night I started The Sinner's Guide to NFP by Simcha Fisher because I needed a break from Russian literature, and it was next in line on my Kindle. So far I love it, but that's no surprise, because Simcha is pretty much awesome. IF I finish it before the babies come, IF I have the mental energy ... I will write more about it once I've finished!

Check out other yarn along posts at Ginny's blog!

Abate

I forgot to grab the books I'm reading for the photo, but it's much the same as last week. Anna Karenina is a surprisingly quick read now that I'm devoting more time to it than the five or ten minutes in bed before the light goes off.

The sweater is an Abate for Michael, knit in size 2T (the smallest). It will be a bit big for him, even though I'm knitting it on smaller needles than the pattern specifies. But that means it will fit him next year too, I hope. I'm using Quince & Co. yarn for the first time and enjoying it immensely!

I have this belief that the twins will not come until this sweater is finished and the skeins of Tosh I posted about last week are knit into two Milos/Puerperiums. Because they just aren't allowed. ;) Also, a friend of mine is throwing me a diaper shower next week, so clearly they can't arrive before that!

So many people have been predicting the first week of November that I think I'm starting to believe that's when they'll be born, myself. Insofar as I believe anything; in the end I'm clueless! I can't imagine still being pregnant by my due date, and yet I can't really imagine having two little babies in the house, either. We'll see!

Head over to Ginny's to see what other people are working on!

Puffing (and still settling ...)

I finished my birthday socks--not quite in time for my birthday, alas. I was about ten rounds short. But they are complete and I am wearing them now. I would post pictures but socks are remarkably hard to photograph when they're on your own feet. ;) 

I am waiting for yarn to come in for a sweater for Michael, and have finished a sweater and blanket apiece for the twins, so for the past few days I've been knitting hexipuffs from the leftover sock yarn.

Surprisingly, I am still reading Anna Karenina. Perhaps I will stick with it after all. I didn't want to be in the middle of a massive Russian novel when the twins were born, but who knows? Maybe I'll finish it before then. (Probably not.) The other two books are These Beautiful Bones  by Emily Stimpson and Small Steps for Catholic Moms by Danielle Bean and Elizabeth Foss. I won both of these in giveaways--one on Goodreads, one through Ginny's blog--and am excited about both of them, particularly since I probably would have bought These Beautiful Bones anyway.

Both those skeins are Tosh DK--one in Antler, one in Betty Draper's Blues--and I am not sure what to do with them. Originally they were intended for a Milo for Michael. Now I am wondering if they should go into Milos or Puerperiums for the twins. What do you think?

In case you're wondering why that last picture was blurry ... I had to work fast.

 My stash is officially unpacked, as are all the books that will fit on our bookshelf, so our little reading/knitting nook is complete. We are getting new couches tonight, so when the room is more together I will show you pictures.

Linking up with Ginny for her yarn along!

Seven Quick Takes (13)

1. I should be packing right now. Or at least taking a shower. But instead I am typing my (probably) last blog post ever from this apartment. We are so happy to be moving to our new home tomorrow, but just typing that out makes me feel a little emotional. (Hey, cut the pregnant lady a break. She's allowed to get teary-eyed.) This place has been good to us.

2. One of the best parts about living here has been our landlords. Last year they moved in downstairs, which could be potentially awkward, right? But it's been great. They're just good people. For example, my landlady the other day invited Michael downstairs to come see the kitty, which made him SO HAPPY. (Although now whenever he sees her, he starts crying to see the cat.) She's helped me carry groceries into the house more than once since I've gotten pregnant, offered to buy things for us from the farmer's market, and to top it all off last week she and her husband gave us a gift card to Babies'r'Us for the twins. How sweet is that?

3. I suspect Michael might have an ear infection, so I've been trying to call the doctor's office to make him an appointment. It took three tries. Try #1: I get to option 1 on the menu (making an appointment is option 3), when Michael starts crying. I turn around to see he has bitten a piece of plastic off the medal on a broken plastic rosary. (He is past that stage of putting things in his mouth, so I'm not sure exactly what he was thinking.) I hang up the phone and get the piece out of his mouth and decide that when he starts eating random crap it's time for a nap. (And I'm sorry, I really hope that rosary wasn't blessed because it's in the trash right now.)

4. Try #2: I wait a bit for Michael's nap to "take." When he settles and seems to be asleep, I call the doctor's office again. This time I get to option 2 on the menu before there's a knock on the door. I'm still in my pajamas. I hang up, get dressed quickly, and answer the door. It's my landlady, apologetically letting me know that some Italian guy is coming by to look at the house in the late afternoon. (Our landlords are selling this place.) We chat for a bit, and then ... Michael starts crying.

5. Fastforward to try #3: I finally get through the menu ... and have to leave a message. So, hopefully we will get him in for an appointment sometime this afternoon.

6. I have to say that this pregnancy has been kind of difficult. As a family we have dealt with a lot of stuff in the past few months that would have been challenging WITHOUT pregnancy hormones thrown in ... know what I mean? Between dealing with various crises, extended family drama, Keith working in overdrive to finish his degree a few months ago, house-hunting and moving, etc ... I feel like I've been in "survival mode" off and on for the past several months. As my due date gets closer, this has become harder for me to deal with, and it's taking its toll on me emotionally. I feel like any day the twins are just going to "show up" and I won't be prepared, at all. But I am trying to let go of things I can't control (including things that have happened in the past few months) and just live in the present and know that I am where God wills me to be at this moment.

7. Did you know that September 22nd is not only the first day of autumn ... but also Hobbit Day? Happy happy happiness!! It's also, sadly, the day after we move, so I'm afraid a day of feasting with friends hobbit-style is out of the question ... but I want us to celebrate it somehow! I'll think of something. :) Also, Michaelmas is a week from Sunday! So we will have to do something special then too.

Linking up with Jen for her Seven Quick Takes.

Hamako

I only missed a week, but it feels so good to be linking up with the yarn-along again! Things have been crazy around here, but I've been knitting. In fact, the very first thing I did after finding out two weeks ago that we might not be able to get our new house was cast on a second baby blanket. It gave me something to do with my hands, and a way to prepare for these babes even as we were unsure of where we'd be bringing them home to.

Knitting has slowed down a bit since we realized we could get the house after all, but I've been plugging away, row by row. 

The pattern is Hamako, which wasn't on my shortlist for the last blanket, but I was so intrigued by the texture that I had to cast on. I am using Malabrigo Rios in Cumparista, which is a very rich, deep red. (In some lights it does take on a purplish tinge, which Keith isn't too happy about; he doesn't think it's very manly. ;) )

Reading has slowed down as well. I am still working my way through older issues of Dappled Things; I'm hoping to finish them in time to pack them up for the move.

Linking up with Ginny.

29 Week Update

This entire pregnancy, I've been annoyed at The Bump and Facebook for not acknowledging my newest week of pregnancy every Thursday. Because my due date is Thursday, November 29th, dang it.

Except I just realized something. To help people remember my due date I always tell them that it's the day after Thanksgiving. And what day is Thanksgiving? Every single year?

So, I apologize to The Bump and Facebook. You were right all along.

I have four post drafts in my blogging folder so know I have been thinking about you, even though it's been a week since I posted. A long, exhausting week, physically and mentally. But today I feel good, so! Here is a bump selfie for your amusement. Because this was the best of the bunch I took, and you are free to laugh at my facial expression, because I am laughing as I upload it.

Just act natural.

I am going to need to buy a few new shirts soon. Someone told me back in July that I was huge. Um, no. In July I just looked pregnant, thank you very much. (I look awful in all the pics from that time or I'd share.) Now I look ... due. :) People I don't know have started asking me when I'm due in that tone of voice that implies "Will you be popping out that kid this week or next week?" I assure them I feel as pregnant as I look! Within the last week or two I've been told a few times that I've "popped," which is funny because I've already popped at least twice this pregnancy--so hopefully it's the last time. ;)

I got to see the boys on Monday. Yay! I had to get my ultrasound lying on my side because the babes were putting too much pressure on my vena cava and I felt like I was going to pass out; not something you should try to tough out, by the way. Both the guys are doing well; Baby B, who has always been a bit smaller, has finally caught up to his brother. And they have both flipped. At my 20 week ultrasound Baby B was breech and Baby A head down--the way we want him. But when I went in to L&D a few weeks ago, Baby A was breech and Baby B head down. I wasn't too happy but figured they still had time and would be flipping all over the place for a bit longer.

Well, we are running out of room for flipping, and Baby A is still butt down.

The OB called the day after my appointment to tell me that Baby B (head down) is closer to the cervix, tucked under his brother's bottom, so that is good; but, A's sac is somehow still under B's head, so ... I'm not really sure what all of that means in terms of trying for a vaginal delivery.

It's not that I can't make peace with the idea of having a c-section. With Michael's birth, I ended up needing Pitocin because my water had broken and I wasn't progressing; the evil drug that does such horrible things to you and your baby and STAY AWAY from it at all costs!! But it was Pitocin that allowed me to deliver Michael vaginally. I was at peace with it because it was the right thing to do. I think if it becomes clear that a c-section is necessary with these babes, I will be okay with that and be able to accept it peacefully.

But ... I want to be able to try, you know?

Anyway. My energy levels have been incredibly low, but the last two days have been great. Honestly I think the weather has a lot to do with it. It feels like fall again! I haven't complained too much this pregnancy, I think; I'm starting to complain now. I am tired, incredibly uncomfortable, and the hip pain has started. And I totally thought I had a mild case of PUPPPS, until I realized I was getting bitten by fleas from the squirrels that hang out behind our house. (I know. Gross. No more hanging out on the back porch. Except I just stood out there to take pictures.)

Finished x 2!

I am pleased to say that both cardigans are now finished! Sleeves, buttons, woven ends and all. I may block them, but I may not. We'll see. Today is a wee bit overcast so I went outside to chase the sunlight for photos. 

You'll notice I am not showing you the left sleeve on Hatchling. I never did get around to redoing it, and it shows. The bottom seam is very visible from the front. Sigh. I learned my lesson with Bairn and was verrry careful to make sure it was centered, but even taking the same caution with Hatchling's second sleeve produced less-than-perfect (although not horrible) results.

Right now I am catching up on a pile of partially read issues of Dappled Things. I've been meaning to do this for a while and now seemed like a good time. :) Last night Keith and I read together in bed until far too late an hour. Him because he was reading a creepy book* and had a hard time putting it down, me because I was reading an interview with Brian Jobe that was interesting and exciting and had me highlighting and making notes in the margins, which is something I seldom do. (I'd never heard of Brian Jobe, but his novel is now on my to-read list!)

Linking up with Ginny's yarn along.


*He is reading I Am Legend. You know, the book the movie with Will Smith was based on. I have seen the movie, Keith has not. Apparently in the book everyone in the world has turned into vampires. This is NOT what happened in the movie; it was much more zombie-ish, I thought, but it's been a while since I've seen it so I could be wrong.