Yarn Along--yay!

Does knitting 15 stitches (more or less) qualify for a yarn along? I'm deciding it does.

That's about how much I was able to knit a few nights ago when Gregory was sleeping in his bouncy chair before he woke up and then that was the end of that story.

(As I type this Michael is yelling upstairs. He is supposed to be sleeping. But nooo, he fell asleep in his carseat for all of five minutes and apparently that is enough sleep for him! (No child. No it is not.) I think it might also be in part because Dominic is LOUDLY babbling all his little baby thoughts to the world and his twin brother and Michael feels like he is missing something.)

Ahem. Anyway. :)

There is my Color Affection, awaiting the last pink stripe before I get to start on the purple. We'll see how many more months before THAT happens.

A friend went to AWP and got me Knitting Yarns: Writers on Knitting. I have been reading an essay or two a day and it does not disappoint. I love memoirs with knitting themes, but a lot of times find them a bit disappointing ... perhaps because I am a writer first and a knitter second and I have pretty high expectations. But when you have a book with contributions by Andre Dubus, Barbara Kingsolver, Jane Smiley, et al ... how can it disappoint?

I've also started The Little Oratory. Words cannot express how excited I am about this book!! It is simply beautiful, the images in the back are lovely (I've already taken out the icon of St. Michael ... now if I could just remember where I put it!). So far I've only read the introduction, but I am looking forward to the rest. Especially as we continue to settle in to our house and our life as a family of five here. 

Speaking of exciting, look what came in the mail today: 

BABIES!

Just kidding, it's Something Other Than God by Jennifer Fulwiler!

Just as I was starting to whittle down the pile of books on my end table ... I guess having too many books and too little time is a much better thing than too few books with too much time?

And speaking of time, get excited, because I have a "day in the life" post in the works! ;)

Seven Quick Takes (18): Baby Talk and Brotherly Affection

1 Today Keith left pretty early and Gregory woke up late and somehow that combination made me feel like it was an "up and at 'em" type day. So I thought we'd try an outing. Maybe to Babies'r'Us because I needed to buy a shower gift, and because I can really only go places that have carts with all three children. Michael was pretty excited about driving in the car. I'm glad, because that's all we ended up doing. I made a wrong turn somewhere, and while I wasn't exactly lost, all my guesses ended up being wrong ones, and we came back to the highway exactly one block where we'd left it. One great big squiggly circle! It was fun though. :)

The best part was that right before we got back to familiar  territory we passed a church with a sign that said, "Do you know where you're going?"

Apparently not!


2 Michael's been looking for ways to interact with his brothers. He occasionally likes to join them for tummy time, and a few times he's tried to pick them up. (One hand on the head, another grabbing a foot ... not very effective.) The funniest thing is he will look at them, stretch out a hand (and pat a head if he's close enough) and shout, "MIN!" (Or "men" or "mahn," depending.) I have no idea where he got this. I think he made it up on his own.


3 Unfortunately--predictably--affection sometimes turns violent. Getting up from tummy time=stumbling=sitting on a baby. "Showing" them a toy=hitting them on the head with it. Today he made Dominic cry by ... I'm not quite sure what it was, because I only saw it out of the corner of my eye. And after very sadly saying he was sorry he tried to make up for it by hitting his brother in the head with a camera. Sigh.


4 Anyway. I haven't been blogging much because I have no time. This week has been somewhat awful because "bedtime" has been more of an abstract concept than a concrete reality. Michael's had a fever/runny nose that keeps him waking up, Dominic's been gassy and won't sleep for more than half an hour unless he's in bed with me, and Gregory is always hard to put down. (Also I've taken up swearing after 8pm for Lent ... :-P Even little things seem SO HORRIBLE at night.) But last night Michael didn't wake up and we finally got Dominic to sleep on his belly so we actually had from 10pm-1am without any crying. Yay!


5 I think Gregory suffers from reflux. I'm not positive and may change my theory in a day or two, but right now I believe that's what bothers him so much. Does anyone know of any natural remedies to help him out, especially when it comes to sleeping?


6 And while I'm asking for tips, we're thinking of starting the twins on a few ounces of formula at bedtime. Partly so they'll sleep longer; partly to give me the option of a break; and partly so they'll  take a bottle and I can go places without them. (And no, I'm not pumping. I've tried with very little output ... and frankly I just don't have it in me to try again.) But they are pretty resistant, particularly Dominic. I'm not sure if it's the bottle itself or just the taste of formula. Any advice about getting them to take it would be appreciated! (My husband offers it to them, we warm it up, and have tried two different brands.)


7 Blah blah blah. Sorry, I don't even have any pictures to include with this post. I'd make a horrible mommy blogger. I guess I kind of am half mommy blogger so I suppose that makes me horrible. ;)


Go and read many posts of much more interest at Jen's place!

Two and a half months in

Everyone is in bed except me. This solitude thing .... what is this?! I feel like I need to write something to memorialize this moment. (Also I sat down at the computer to shut it down and ended up on the internet ...)


Today the twins are 2.5 months old. Their personalities are truly blossoming. They coo (in very distinct ways), they smile, and I swear Dominic laughed in his sleep just this evening.


Things seem to have settled into a rhythm--a hit-or-miss rhythm, to be sure, but it's there. In the morning Keith gets up and gets Michael started on breakfast while I nurse however many babies are awake and change their diapers. Once everyone is fed and Keith leaves, the morning is often fairly calm. I read Michael books, usually with one baby or another on my lap. Or he plays with his markers and I respond to his demands of "Draw arrow!" with a baby on the other arm. I am at my best-rested to tackle and hairy moments that arise.

And then on the heels of the easiest time of day comes the hardest. Michael gets hungry. I get hungry. (Um, I get hungry a lot. Breastfeeding twins takes a lot of calories!) The babies get hungry and/or gassy. The timing of all this is impossible to manage. I get Michael set up with lunch and sit and eat with him, and/or nurse a baby.

If the fates are smiling then Michael is ready for his nap right after I've nursed both babies and they're dozy; if not, well, someone will be in tears at some point. (Lately Michael has been unhappy about taking a nap.) Once he's down, I might have a time where both babies are awake and interactive, and perhaps as long as half an hour when they're both asleep. In which case I can clean or *cough* watch Lark Rise to Candleford on Youtube. Or I may have to alternate holding babies all of naptime.

And then Michael wakes up and the countdown to Papa's return begins. ;)


I know it's just perspective that makes me think one baby is "easy," but I'm hoping I can carry some of that perspective into our next child's infancy, if God so blesses us! I don't mean that just in a stressed out way (although I often think it in times of stress!). For example, I can't tell you how often I've felt a pang of sadness because I have to put one baby down to tend to the other, even though they are staring up at me and smiling and ready to interact, or to cuddle up and sleep in my arms. I know with Michael I often found myself just wanting to put the baby down; and while now it can be frustrating that I almost always have to be holding a baby, it's also taught me that being able to hold your baby for an unbroken stretch of time is truly a gift. Time to yourself is important but at the same time I can get so caught up in the lack of it that it becomes a source of stress. I am learning (or trying to learn) how to lean into the day moment by moment rather than fighting against it.

Also? I've learned that I can do an awful lot while breastfeeding an infant. (Like drawing arrows with markers.) Praise God. :)

Seven Quick Takes (16)--Babies and Blessings

1. I have a list written out of 100 things I would like to do in 2014. (So far you haven't been subjected to it. ;) ) Two of the things were to get our house blessed, and to invite a priest over for dinner. So when a priest we know offered to do an Epiphany blessing for us we excitedly said yes and settled on a time "after dinner." I intended to invite him over for dinner, but between life being crazy and me being procrastinatory (that is definitely a word) it didn't happen. I had a pot roast but didn't make it and figured that we'd dive into our freezer stash for a meal. 

And then ... Keith called me five times in a row and I finally called him back and we realized that Father was coming over for dinner. So I had an hour and a half, an uncooked, 3 lb pot roast, and ... nothing else in the house except eggs ... and cheese ... and milk ... which thankfully I realized could make a quiche. Phew! I'm really glad he ate with us, but I'm hoping we can invite him back again for a nicer meal. 

Michael also decided that Father was such a good friend he would tell him every time his diaper was poopy. Which was at least twice. 

Definitely not identical!

2. Dominic and Gregory are two months old! They've officially outgrown their newborn clothes (it took Gregory a bit longer than Dominic) although we won't know how much they weigh until their appointment next week. As for personality, they couldn't be more different. I want to get around to typing up their birth story soon. The other day I was holding Dominic and getting teary-eyed thinking about his birth ... but I realized I want to type Michael's first. Not because I'm OCD about birth order or anything, but because I'm realizing that how I feel about the twins' birth and how I'm processing it relates strongly to my experience with Michael. (And indeed, writing the birth stories is another thing on my 2014 list.)

3. Yesterday I fed/nursed all the boys, got everyone dressed, put on a pair of earrings and french braided my hair, got everyone into the car and went shopping. We were back before noon, everyone all in one piece. The only hitch was that Dominic decided life was awful the minute we started driving, and was only soothed by me dancing around the aisles of Walmart while wearing him. (Gregory was in his carseat in the cart.) It was empowering but exhausting. I basically spent the rest of the day watching period dramas and nursing babies.

4. One thing that made yesterday possible was getting up a bit earlier than usual, which happened because Keith was up. Generally the babies dictate our schedule. But I know I need to be more disciplined. Eventually I want to have a morning routine where I get up at a certain time, hopefully have some of the morning to myself to shower etc, and make breakfast for Michael to eat while I nurse the babies. This may not happen until the twins have a more regular schedule, but hopefully that isn't too far in the future.

5. My friend Stephanie stopped by with her boys (ages 3.5, 2.5, and 4 months). The house was very full of boyhood--a sort of glimpse of my future in a year or two. There was screaming and running and laughter and tears and pizza and clementines. I have to laugh because who would have known four years ago that we'd soon have six boys between the two of us?? Life is so crazy. My babies are small and Stephanie's are huge; her not-yet-four-year-old can see and reach anything on my counters, whereas my almost-two-year-old is still wearing some 12 month size shirts!

6.  However. Stephanie has the easier babies. I'm not sure what it is about my closest friends (my cousin's babies are like this too), but they all seem to have babies that are content to lie or sit on the floor and watch what's going on and grin at you. Whereas my babies ... ha! You hold my babies for an hour and then when you try to put them down they start crying out of sheer indignance. (Well, Gregory is a bit easier than that. But not Dominic.)

7. It's snowing. That makes me happy. The weather out the window is no longer fooling me into feeling like it's spring, and the days are brighter with a little white on the ground. I wish I could take Michael out to play in it ... but right now Papa has to be the fun parent in that regard.

picture by Keith

Linking up with Jen at Conversion Diary!

Home

Dominic Xavier

Gregory Atticus

The boys were born at 8:07 pm and 8:21 pm on November 15th, weighing 5lb6oz and 5lb3oz respectively. I hope to type up their birth story next week; my induced labor went very well, Dominic's birth went wonderfully, and the 14 minutes between his and Gregory's were among the most frightening of my life.

Recovery has been a bit rough, and so has readjusting from being a family of three to a family of five. But we are all home, we are all together, and we are all well.

God is good.

Waiting to meet you

Stephanie Pearl-McPhee (aka the Yarn Harlot) recently wrote a post about how some people are superstitious about knitting for babies before they're born, as though it would "jinx" a pregnancy or tempt fate. She sees it instead as a sort of optimism, making it clear that this baby is expected and paving the way for it to arrive.

Her post spoke to some things I've been mulling over lately, as someone who's been spending a lot of time either preparing or thinking about preparing for the arrival of two little ones.

Since this picture I've finished the back and started on the sleeves!

I have often thought about how people are basically programmed to respond to babies and very young children with love. They are cute, most people smile at them, some stop to gush over how adorable they are. All human beings are meant to be loved, and loved unconditionally, their whole lives; but how important in those first years, when their sense of who they are and the world they exist in is just forming, that they hear this message:

Welcome. We're glad you're here. Your life is a gift. You are worthy of love.

And what better way to welcome a baby than with warmth that is literal as well as metaphorical? I firmly believe that all babies deserve handknits, to be wrapped up in love in a physical, woolly way. So I try to knit for babies as they're born, although sometimes I have too much on my plate. (Alas, some babies in my life have been left knitless; and then they become toddlers and things take more than one skein of yarn and more time and measurements and ... well, it just doesn't happen.)

But it is most beautiful to me, especially as I knit for my own babies, that through knitting you are able to nurture, care for, and love them--before they're even on the outside. Knitting for babies in the womb affirms their lives as something beautiful; it says "You exist, and you are loved, and I cannot wait to meet you."

Still doesn't have a second sleeve ...

Some of the commenters on Stephanie's post said they couldn't imagine what it would be like to have those knits if something bad happened--like coming home to a fully decorated nursery that will remain empty. But I noticed that most of the people who actually experienced loss, even while they acknowledged the hardship of those baby knits going unworn, also wrote of the meaningfulness of being able to pull those things out of the drawer now and then, a tangible reminder of the life that was, the love that was given to it.

There is a group on Ravelry called Elephant Tears that donates baby blankets as part of bereavement packages for families who lost a child due to premature birth. I missed the most recent deadline because of knitting for my own babies, but I really hope to participate in the future.

As for my own babies ... Praise God, I have not known that kind of loss. But even if I knew that one or or both of them would be diagnosed tomorrow with a fatal disease or disability and that I would never meet them in this life ... I would keep knitting. It would give me a way to still nurture them, to affirm their lives as beautiful, no matter how short. A tangible way to still say: "You exist, and you are loved, and I cannot wait to meet you." Even if that meeting isn't in this life.

 I hope this post doesn't sound depressing, because it isn't meant to! I've just been doing a lot of preparing and planning for babies lately, and pondering over the meaning of these things. There is something to them that goes beyond the merely practical.

Anyway, I think I've posted pics of these outfits before, but I wanted to share them again--do you like how they sort of match the sweaters? Happy coincidence! I have my eye on some Malabrigo in Cumparsita for the second blanket, which happens to fit the color scheme too ... might as well embrace it, right?

And then there's these guys just 'cause they're cute.

I bought some more newborn onesies today and a maternity belt (yay!), and then I had to walk out of the store because if I'd stayed any longer I would have spent ALL the money. Babies'R'Us/Toys'R'Us could be a problem for me come Christmastime.